One of the lovely things about having an April birthday is that the month sits perfectly at the end of the first quarter of the year. By April, enough time has passed for one to evaluate how far one has come that year, with enough time left on the calendar to make adjustments and change course if necessary. A few years ago, I decided to stop making resolutions and life evaluations at the end of every calendar year, but instead to look at the months between January and April as the last quarter of my previous year, and a time for introspection and evaluation for the proceeding quarters.

Kotto Bass, and the Fear of 33

In 1996, the inimitable legend of Cameroonian Makossa, *Kotto Bass, died. He was thirty-three. Cameroonians everywhere know who Kotto Bass was. His talent with the bass guitar, his musical stylings, and the fact that he was a powerhouse in Cameroonian music in spite of paralysis from polio, made him a revered name in Cameroon and beyond our borders. For me, even at the age of five, he was a rockstar. We all loved his music, and since I attended school near the cemetery in Mabanda where he was buried, the monument erected in his honor at his gravesite always gave me the sense his legendary presence would always be felt.

Kotto Bass’ death touched me in a way I did not fully process until I was much older. There was something about his dying, so suddenly while at the peak of his career, that made me terrified of the thirty-third year of life. For many years I clung to the fear that age 33 was one to be wary of. It did not help that one of my all-time favorite African artists, Dj Arafat, passed away at age 33, and when famous Cameroonian influencers Nina Ngassa of Chef Nina’s cuisine and Comedian Cabrel Nanjip also passed right before their 33rd birthdays, my fear was further galvanized. And who can forget Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ crucified and died…at age 33 (or so it is postulated)?!

2023

The year 2023 was one of my most challenging to-date. Between preparing for two Board exams and working through residency auditions I believed I worked harder than I ever have in my life last year. I pushed myself beyond my capabilities, and then pushed past those limits. I was so excited about graduation, beginning residency, and finally having a relationship with my partner that did not involve many hours of driving and meeting in towns halfway between our homes to spend some time together. So when December came around and my plans were derailed, I was crushed. I spent the last two weeks of December processing my life those past few months, my time in medical school, the fact that I would be so much further away from my family, and how my dream of making a home with my partner was being pushed back.

I had spent those weeks in December thinking the year 2024 would be a wasted one, as I would not be in the place I had hope to be doing the things I had hoped to do. As 2024 rolled in, the storm clouds began to clear, but every now and then the anger and hurt and disappointment would hit me all over again. I was burnt out, I did not have a place of my own to call home, and I still had months to go before I graduated. I knew that this spirit of defeatism would show in everything I did this year, unless I decided to change my outlook. The month of June will be the beginning of my Transitional Year. I have decided to rename 2024, and this academic year, my Year of Transitions.

Year of Transitions

This year life will be changing for me in so many ways. From Student Doctor to Intern, Army Second Lieutenant to Captain, Single/In a relationship to Married/Looking forward to creating a family of my own, Alabama resident to Washington expat. These past four months I have been blessed with the support of family and friends, and the generosity of strangers and acquaintances. I have had opportunities come my way I never would have thought to go for if things had happened differently a few months back. In spite of everything, I feel well and truly blessed.

For better or worse, the rest of the year promises excitement and adventure. I realize I have no need, and frankly possibly no time, to dwell on my long-harbored superstitions about the year 33. I intend to fully embrace every challenge that comes my way this year, and to live life as fully and boldly as I can push myself to. I expect the dark times to roll in, but what is life without trials and tribulations to remind us we are stronger than our greatest weaknesses, and more courageous than our worst fears?

Happy Jesus Birthday to Me, and a Happy birthday my little sis, and others around the world who share this glorious Taurus Day with me!!

*Enjoy some good ol’ Makossa from the legendary Kotto Bass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-qOeF2p0rI&list=RDEMY_0gV3UZlI3MsqOFpmeNvw&start_radio=1